Everyone knows that small children are pretty gross. In fact, most toddlers I know would quite happily walk around with poo smeared across their faces, and literally not give a shit. Child number 2 sneezes into her yogurt! Gross! But what you might not realise is parents of small children are just as disgusting - … Continue reading 6 Disgustingly, Gross Things That Become 'OK' When You Have Small Children
There's lots of things you lose when you become a parent. Your freedom. Your figure. A full nights sleep. The ability to jump on a trampoline without wetting yourself (mums only)! But the one thing you lose, that no one seems to tell you about, is your ability to swear, curse and cuss as freely … Continue reading FOR. FUDGE. CAKE!!! And other completely ridiculous, child-friendly swear words
As I pulled my 4-year-old son along on his scooter, rain hammering my face, my scarf wrapped around him, my lovely new (non-bloody-waterproof) coat drenched through and my husband running ahead with our screaming 2-year-old in his arms, one thought kept running through my head.... Why. The. FUCK. Did. We. Go. To. See. Santa. In. … Continue reading Why the F**k did we go to see Santa in the rain?!
Mummies and daddys are lazy. Fact. They are always wanting to lie in until 6am or even 6.30am!!! I mean, by then, the day is half over already. But luckily for my mummy and daddy, I am super, brilliantly, talented at waking them up at the more appropriate time of 5am (or 5.30am if I … Continue reading The five best ways to wake up (lazy) parents at 5am, by Blossom, aged 2 years and 14 days
Yes! You heard me right! I burnt my bottom (quite badly, may I add) at a children’s soft play centre. When you catch your breath again from your fits of laughter, let me tell you how this happened. And you will agree with me that this completely ridiculous, hilarious, jaw-droppingly, mind-numbingly, stupid injury would ONLY … Continue reading I burnt my bum at soft play