I burnt my bum at soft play

Yes! You heard me right! I burnt my bottom (quite badly, may I add) at a children’s soft play centre.

When you catch your breath again from your fits of laughter, let me tell you how this happened. And you will agree with me that this completely ridiculous, hilarious, jaw-droppingly, mind-numbingly, stupid injury would ONLY happen to a parent, or possibly a rather agile grandparent or godparent (notice the common word here ‘parent’)!

It was a hot summers day and for some reason I had decided to take my 18 month old and 4 year old to soft play. Why I did this, I have no idea, as I loath soft play centres. But I did.

I was wearing a rather short, light cotton playsuits. Not the ideal soft play attire at the best of times, but especially when your strong-willed baby girl decides she wants to go on the big boy slide.

So we did. And, so my play suit rode up. And, so my bare bottom was sliding down the long, dry, plastic slide. And so….. friction, skin, a loud screech, a nearly toppling 38 year old and one burnt bum! Fucking painful and fucking RIDICULOUS!

But why am I telling you this now? Because it occurred to me the other day, after I hit my head on a toilet seat, while wiping my sons bum (yep, that happened!), that no one ever tells you about the ridiculous injuries you will obtain whilst parenting your small humans.

So, I’m telling you, beware the parent injuries, they are many and they are, in a word, ridiculous!

But still not as ridiculous as when my friend received a nipple bitting injury… from her horse!!!

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