When I became a mum, lots of things came as a huge shock. The lack of sleep. The need for a routine. The changes in my body. The lack of sleep (wait, did I say that one already? I’m so tired)!
But, I think, the biggest shock for me was how invisible I suddenly felt once my son was born.
When you are pregnant, everything is about you. It is one of the few times in your adult life when people truly treat you like you are special. And so they should. Pregnant women are special. I mean, they are literally creating life. What could be more special than that?
But once you’re child is born, that all stops. And your needs.. and your voice… go to the very bottom of the pile. Sure, everyone fusses over you and your new arrival for a few weeks (…or a few hours if it’s your second child). But then, wham, you are forgotten.
No one sees you anymore. They see the beautiful baby you are holding. No one asks about you anymore. Hears you anymore. Worry’s about you anymore. It is all about the baby. Then the toddler. And then the children.
And so it should be. Don’t get me wrong, my children completely, utterly and totally come first in my life. But, just occasionally, I would like my voice to be heard. In fact, I would like ALL mothers voices to be heard (and I’m hoping this blog may help with that in some small way)!
Last week another mother said to me, when we were talking about a very topical subject, “Why bother saying anything, because who is going to listen to us anyway?”
No one – and I mean NO ONE – should feel like this. Mums voices are important too. Mums options and feelings are important too.
I know motherhood can make you feel invisible. You can feel like you have lost yourself. That you don’t matter anymore. That you are bottom of the pile.
But please, don’t lose your voice. Because your voice is important too. You are important too.