Last weekend I went away for a ‘not-so-relaxing mini-break’ with a four-nado (mine), a three-nager (not mine), a very terrible two year old (mine) and a bubba (not mine). And their designated adults too, of course. Almost all of us. Just missing mummy no 2 and bubba. It’s impossible to get a picture of everyone … Continue reading The pros and cons to going on holiday with other families
Dear Horrid Old Man (who shouted at me for cycling on the path with my children), Where can I cycle safely with my children? If we cycle on the road, the cars whizz past us so closely our ears ring, the trailer shakes and I fear for my children’s safety. If we cycle on the … Continue reading Where can I cycle safely with my children?
When my daughter was born, she had to have lots of help to get her breathing. Or that’s what they tell me. I couldn’t see for myself, as I was laying unconscious on a table with my stomach sliced open. But, despite the fact that I had a poorly baby, had undergone major surgery, been … Continue reading Giving birth can be traumatic, hard and life-changing. So why don’t we take it more seriously?
Everyone knows that small children are pretty gross. In fact, most toddlers I know would quite happily walk around with poo smeared across their faces, and literally not give a shit. Child number 2 sneezes into her yogurt! Gross! But what you might not realise is parents of small children are just as disgusting - … Continue reading 6 Disgustingly, Gross Things That Become ‘OK’ When You Have Small Children
There's lots of things you lose when you become a parent. Your freedom. Your figure. A full nights sleep. The ability to jump on a trampoline without wetting yourself (mums only)! But the one thing you lose, that no one seems to tell you about, is your ability to swear, curse and cuss as freely … Continue reading FOR. FUDGE. CAKE!!! And other completely ridiculous, child-friendly swear words
As I pulled my 4-year-old son along on his scooter, rain hammering my face, my scarf wrapped around him, my lovely new (non-bloody-waterproof) coat drenched through and my husband running ahead with our screaming 2-year-old in his arms, one thought kept running through my head.... Why. The. F. Did. We. Go. To. See. Santa. In. … Continue reading Why did we go to see Santa in the rain?!
Mummies and daddys are lazy. Fact. They are always wanting to lie in until 6am or even 6.30am!!! I mean, by then, the day is half over already. But luckily for my mummy and daddy, I am super, brilliantly, talented at waking them up at the more appropriate time of 5am (or 5.30am if I … Continue reading The five best ways to wake up (lazy) parents at 5am, by Blossom, aged 2 years and 14 days
Yes! You heard me right! I burnt my bottom (quite badly, may I add) at a children’s soft play centre. When you catch your breath again from your fits of laughter, let me tell you how this happened. And you will agree with me that this completely ridiculous, hilarious, jaw-droppingly, mind-numbingly, stupid injury would ONLY … Continue reading I burnt my bum at soft play